Goodbye Lubbock, Hello World!

Three years ago, I was an entering first-year student at Texas Tech School of Law in Lubbock, Texas. I weighed over 300-lbs. I was introverted and unsure of myself.

Upon moving into my new apartment, I was disheartened to find that I was situated on the third floor of a run-down, smelly piece of property. The rent was only $260, all bills paid and fully-furnished, and let me tell you, you get what you pay for. When I walked in my efficiency studio, I was greeted with the smell of mothballs! I don't know who invented mothballs, but I for one would rather be infested with moths than have to endure such a foul stench!

Here I was 400 miles away from home, lonely and depressed. School hadn't even started and already my mind was plagued with doubts. Was moving a smart thing to do? Was law school meant for me? I must have spent that first week crying my eyes out! I called my friends back home nearly every day. "I made a big mistake," I lamented.

My time in Lubbock was tedious and difficult. Not that law school is difficult - the workload is actually not that bad. It's just that I didn't enjoy the material. I got no joy out of studying contract law or civil procedure.

I met some terrible people in Lubbock, too. If you've been to law school, you know that the classes are filled with liars, backstabbers, and the most heinous gossips you could ever encounter. I lost several would-be friends to their prejudices, racism, and spitefulness.

Fortunately, I also met some wonderful people who got me through the rough patches. Without them, I don't think I would have kept my sanity. In them, I found companionship. I found a confidant - someone who shared my interests in the arts and with whom I could share dreams and secrets.

Maybe law school really was a mistake. It's certainly possible that I will live to regret my decision to go. Now that I have finished my three years in Lubbock, I can't say for sure whether, if I could go back in time, I would do it again. A part of me wishes I had had the guts to drop out my first year. But, fear and pride kept me going.

But, in a way, I am glad I didn't quit. Because then I never would have met my friends. And I never would have discovered my love of running. I mentioned that when I moved to law school, I weighed about 300 lbs. Although I started losing weight the summer before I moved to Lubbock, I started running seriously while I was in Lubbock.

Every night after class, I would go for a run at the track around the Student Rec Center. As the stars twinkled in the night sky, I exorcised all that pain, confusion, and frustration. Before long, I was dropping weight and found myself signing up for my first marathon, and a week later, my first 50-mile ultramarathon.

Auguste Rodin wrote that "nothing is a waste of time if you use the experience wisely." Law school taught me that there is no difficult situation that I can't endure. I will endure it. And in the process, I will pull out from it any and every benefit I can. I have learned to have a sense of humor in all situations, especially the worst of the worst. I have learned to smile and make the best of a shitty set of circumstances. I have learned to make do with the bad and be grateful for the good. I have learned to be wary of bad people and to treasure an honest friend. And I have learned that I am stronger than I think.

Buffalo Spings Lake - Hill Training for Cactus Rose 100

The real hills of Lubbock are at Buffalo Springs Lake, about five miles outside the city limit. Lubbock is pretty much a pancake, but if you drive out to the lake, you will find that the earth suddenly and unexpectedly dips down to form a beautiful canyon. They have fishing, boating, dirt bike riding, hiking, swimming, etc. I went for the hills.

My friend Alec Pourteau told me about this place, and Lisa Smith-Batchen urged me to get my butt out there to do some real hill training for Cactus Rose. She has trained on these hills before, having spent some time in Lubbock. She said the hills were big. Boy, she wasn't kidding!

I found that most of the hills were formed by the trail traversing the the edge of the canyon, that part where the earth dips down. The wonderful thing was that the trails were nice and rocky, similar to the terrain in Bandera. It is good training. I managed to take my camera with me on one of the loops and I snapped some photos of the trails. Here they are:

You start down in the canyon, by the lake. In order to get up to the trails at the rim of the canyon, you have to hike back up one of these steep trail heads. They are somewhat treacherous, with loose, rocky footing. But, I realized that if you hesitate with your footing too much, you are more likely to slip. The best way to get up these things, I think, is to bound up them as fast as you can. Stay light on the feet! Getting back down is the tricky part. I had to get on my ass on some parts and scoot down little by little. It's that steep.

Once you are on the rim of the canyon, the real fun begins. For here are the trails!



The trails are very scenic, too! Lots of interesting sights. From cool rock formations...

...to broken bridges...

...to beautiful flora...




Some flora is downright dangerous!

But, the best part of the Buffalo Springs Lake experience is this monster hill I found. I turned my head and was like, hello! I had to go up it!

At the top! Victory!

So if you are ever in the area, head on over to Buffalo Springs Lake! It is so worth it. I, for one, plan on doing a lot more training runs there!

Getting past the heat and humidity

“It's not the heat; it's the humidity.”

-Proverb quotes

I like the heat. Don't get me wrong. To want to do Badwater, I guess you sort of have to like heat. But, lately I've been feeling bogged down during my runs. I'm not going as fast, and it takes less effort to get my heart rate up high. Training in San Antonio, Texas, in the heat of the day takes its toll on you. But, I hate waking up early if I can avoid it. And night time running in my neighborhood just isn't that safe.

Now, I have moved back to Lubbock. I have been pretty sad about this move. First, my dad finally got to come home after spending two whole months in the hospital due to complications arising from diabetes. I was so happy to have him home, but so sad to have to leave that same week back to school. Then, two days before I am set to leave to school, I meet this incredible guy whom I would totally date. We had a wonderful time together. I felt really sad about having to say goodbye to him.

All things considered, I can't complain about my life. I'm not in a great deal of suffering. Good things are happening. But, nothing is good enough. There's always a catch. Nothing is perfect. That is life, I guess.

So back to the heat. I've been here in Lubbock for two whole days, feeling pretty down. And, I've been trying to be more positive. I've been trying to look for a way to make my circumstances better for myself. And today it finally happened. I went for a run in the late afternoon. It was breezy and cool and I was able to run long and fast. I realized it was the humidity that was slowing me down in San Antonio. If Lubbock can be praised for one thing, just one, it's the low humidity levels.

I know, it's not much. But, it's something that helps me see my situation in a different light. I'm gonna run with it. When you are going through tough times, you have to find something good about the situation and just go with it.

P.S.: My dad is doing very well, feisty as ever. And, yes, I am still keeping in touch with the sexy, smart, and fascinating guy I met.

Prayer to God

I didn't want to go back to law school this year. My dad has been sick in the hospital and I felt like I needed to stay here by his side. But, I guess you have different plans. That's cool, I guess. All I ask is that you give me the strength I will need to be away from my family and to handle whatever little dramas come up throughout the year. Also, about that whole career thing and the future, please help me figure something out soon. I'm getting scared. Another thing: please don't let me get injured while running. I need running now more than ever. Help me train well for the Cactus Rose 100. I want to kick ass at that race. I know there's something else, but I can't remember what it is. I'll get back to you. Thanks, God.

-gerry