Inspiring Weight Loss Story

Here is a video that a Facebook friend directed me to. It is quite something. What is holding you back from your dreams?

If you would like to learn more about Ben and his 120 pound weight loss journey, visit his website by clicking here or going to bendoeslife.com.

"4 Hour Body" Book Review

This book is all the rage, apparently. Walk into any Barnes & Noble and it is right there with Stieg Larsson and other bestsellers. So, I decided to pick it up and see what all the fuss is about.

This isn't your typical fad diet book. It wants to be more than that. Described as an "uncommon guide to rapid fat-loss, incredible sex, and becoming superhuman," author Tim Ferriss has some real ambition here. He aims to show you how to do the following and more:

* How to prevent fat gain while bingeing (X-mas, holidays, weekends)
* How to increase fat-loss 300% with a few bags of ice
* How Tim gained 34 pounds of muscle in 28 days, without steroids, and in four hours of total gym time
* How to sleep 2 hours per day and feel fully rested
* How to produce 15-minute female orgasms
* How to triple testosterone and double sperm count
* How to go from running 5 kilometers to 50 kilometers in 12 weeks
* How to reverse “permanent” injuries
* How to add 150+ pounds to your lifts in 6 months

Ferriss is not a doctor, but he has experimented extensively on himself to arrive at the prescriptions detailed in this book. A human guinea pig, so to speak. Do the programs work?

I was unable to test every program, but I did try the diet (lose 20 pounds in 30 days without exercise), so I will speak exclusively of that. Yes, I did lose some weight while on the diet. But, I suspected I was also losing muscle mass and I felt undernourished while on it. This diet is not really intended for endurance athletes in training, to say the least. It certainly isn't very vegan friendly. So, I had to stop the program.

But, for the average person, it probably would be effective. Although, I have serious concerns about what happens after the 30 days are up. The dieter runs a risk of putting all the weight back on because he or she has not learned to make healthy food decisions for themselves, but has rather just been following a rigid set of restrictions for a month. The dieter also hasn't learned the value and joy of exercise. Effective, long-term weight loss requires that your change your entire frame of mind regarding food and exercise. You don't get that with this program.

And to be honest, there's nothing really very revolutionary about the diet anyway. It merely reiterates principles that have been expounded upon by health professionals for years: a low carb, low fat, high protein diet.

The writing itself is fun, fresh, and interesting. The science here is speculative, but compelling. Ferriss takes liberties where few scientists or doctors would (or could).

I'm fine with that. It's all very fascinating. But, here is my biggest problem with the book: it seems tailored for that specific attitude that demands fast results with the least amount of work put in. It's an obsession of the American public to want things done now and to not have to break a sweat for it. The world doesn't work that way. The best things in life are never easy. That's my problem with fad diets. They are in it for the short-haul. People follow them for a month or two and then things fall to pieces. Yo-yo dieting becomes the trend. I said this book wants to be more than your typical diet book. But, I fear it may be just that.

Ch-ch-ch-changes!

My friend, Aleia, was rummaging through her old picture files on her computer and she came across some photos of me when I was heavier (not at my heaviest, though!), before I lost 180 pounds. I don't recognize myself in them. I mean, I do and I don't.

It's so weird seeing what I looked like back then. I feel like I'm a different person now. But, not so different. I still feel for that guy staring back at me in the photos. I want to reach out to him and tell him... What do I want to tell him? That it will get better. That there is a whole world of possibility out there that he hasn't even dreamed of.

Pictures like these inspire me to keep moving forward. Change is always a possibility. It's inevitable, in fact.

Here are the pictures:





Here is another "Before and After" that I have posted before.



Click here to read Part 1 of my post about my weight loss journey. Click here for Part 2.

More New Year's Resolutions

As New Year's Eve draws closer, I am still finalizing my list of resolutions for 2011. I think I have come up with a manageable list. I think all fo these things are doable. Here they are:

1. Lose some weight - first order of business, and I'm getting started now. Over the period of law school final exams, due to poor eating habits and low activity level, I put on about ten pounds. I need to get back to my racing weight. This will entail cutting back a little on the calorie intake, basically.

2. Finish at least three 100 milers - Self-explanatory. (Related, see #4 and #5)

3. Finish Rocky Raccoon 100 - I DNF'd this course last year, mostly because I was totally unprepared for the 100-miler mentally. But, now that I know what running 100 miles entails, I think I have the mental fortitude to finish.

4. Sign up for, run, and finish Leadville 100 - this is the year I want to make some definite strides towards Badwater. Leadville is a part of that progress. I can't say for sure what piqued my interest in Leadville; all I know is that I have my heart set on it, and I can feel that it is going to happen.

5. Go vegan - this is the big one. I have been thinking about this for a long time, ever since my friend explained vegetarianism to me back in Austin about 6 years ago. In the past year, I have done a lot of research on veganism and the benefits of a vegan diet and I think it will be good for me. I am very excitied about this one.

7. Get published - I plan to write a lot more for this blog and hopefully my writing will get picked up by Ultrarunning Magazine or Marathon & Beyond or Trail Runner Magazine. I have already made some definite progress dowards this goal. My story on Lisa Smith-Batchen's run across America got picked up by Marathon & Beyond and will be published in the July/August issue!

8. Do R2R2R - I really want to run the Grand Canyon. However, this resolution is negotiable. Money-permitting, I will do my best to make it happen during Spring Break (mid-March). However, Leadville expenses will take priority.

Food for Thought: Notes on My Relationship With Food

Losing weight is hard. Not everyone understands this. I've heard some people explain it to me like this: "you just burn up what you put in," referring to calorie intake and expenditure through exercise. "It's pure mathematics." The problem with this logic is that it completely ignores the complicated physical, chemical, and psychological factors that make us overweight to begin with. If ever someone tells you this, you can be sure they haven't had to lose a lot of weight before. People are too complex for such irreducible formulas.

When I was losing weight, I had to evaluate my relationship with food. I had to look at what I ate and why I ate it. I struggled so much to understand my habits and where they came from. I still struggle with food today. For example, I sometimes feel overwhelmingly guilty for eating, even when I know that there is nothing wrong with what I am eating. Where does that guilt come from?

I had been heavy most of my life. Growing up, I was always the chubby kid. Food was such an important part of my life. Mexican-Americans place a great emphasis on culinary traditions. If you ever go to a pachanga, you will find plenty of food available. In my family, eating was very much a social event, a part of the cultural fabric that allowed us to relate to each other on deeper, more personal levels. I came to love food.

There is nothing wrong with loving food. I think food is meant to be enjoyed. I've met people that take a purely utilitarian approach to food. "Food is fuel," they say. "Nothing more." I do not share this view. Food has the potential to awaken us to the most cherished sensory experiences of our lives. It is both tradition and culture, memory and expression. To eat food is to partake in one of the most fundamental experiences of the human condition. Truly.

So where is the problem? The problem for me was when I ate for the wrong reasons. Emotional eating, for example, often leads to problems. I remember eating to soothe my emotional pains. This started at a young age. When I would cry as a child, my parents would give me candy to cheer me up. Is it any wonder that I came to see food as an emotional crutch, something I could lean on for comfort during the rough times?

When I was losing weight, I had to stop my emotional eating. Not completely, though. I still allowed myself to eat for emotional reasons. Food and emotion are so closely intertwined in our modern times that I think it's unreasonable to expect to shut off the habit completely. But, rather than associate food with negative emotions, I tried to associate it with positive ones. So, if I was having a good day or I accomplished something good, like getting a good grade on a school paper, I would allow myself a culinary treat - maybe a big bowl of homemade vegetable soup that evening.

I believe associating food with positive emotions is essential to weight loss. So often, the diet books emphasize the negative. "No" to this. "No" to that. Food becomes something we fear and we try to avoid it. Of course, this ends up in diet-disaster. We abstain from eating because we are afraid to eat, but we can only abstain for so long before we give in and chow down. Then, we overeat. We binge. This leads to guilt, which leads to more eating. We shouldn't fear food.

That's a hard concept to put into practice, especially for someone trying to lose weight. As I mentioned, I still sometimes feel guilty when I eat. I can't help it. All through high school I was called names and teased because of my weight. College, too. I saw myself as fat, and I blamed food for it. When I tried a new diet, it was always with that do-or-die attitude. With each new attempt to shed the pounds, I would set out on a mission to conquer food, the archenemy of my desired waistline.

Eventually, I realized that I couldn't conquer food. I had to embrace it. Most importantly, I had to acquaint myself with new culinary experiences: eating healthy, making smart food choices, opening up my palette to new tastes - fruits instead of candy, vegetables instead of junk food. I eliminated fast food from my life. I cooked 95% of my meals. With this new approach to eating, and with the benefits of exercise and running, I lost 180 pounds.

However, losing weight is just the beginning. A lot of people, after successfully losing weight, put it back on within a year. There are many culprits behind the problem of yo-yo dieting. One culprit, and I think it is the most important, is that some people, while dieting and losing weight, never fully analyzed their eating habits. They never understood their relationship with food, and they never fully embraced food as a part of life, not to be feared but rather to be enjoyed. By that same token, our relationship with food changes as time goes by. It evolves. But, the basic tenant of the relationship should always stay the same: love.

I enjoy food, just as you should enjoy food, just as we all should enjoy food. I also enjoy exercise and running. Whether you are trying to lose weight, or just struggling like me to come to terms with your ever-shifting relationship with food, remember that love conquers all. It is the opposite of fear. And when you learn to love good food, you also learn to love yourself.

Losing Weight - Part 2

I started losing weight the summer before I entered law school. At first, the results were slow. Then, they came faster. I had tried dieting many times before, but nothing stuck.

I had always been a chubby kid growing up. Sure, I played basketball and baseball. But I was never really any good. Never really athletic. And my eating habits were poor. Breakfast usually consisted of eggs, sausage, bacon, chorizo con papas, tacos, etc. Junk food was a staple, as were fried foods. Coming from a Mexican background did not help: Mexican food is rife with saturated fats and cholesterol! My parents never taught me good eating habits growing up, probably because they were never taught themselves. All that changed when my dad had a heart attack.

He was in the hospital for a few days. The doctors gave him an eating plan to follow. They warned him about the dangers of eating unhealthy, of not exercising and managing weight. As a family, we became a lot more conscientious about what we put on out plates. We became educated on why it is important to eat well. But, it didn't stick.

We got caught up in our old ways. Things returned to how they were: all-you-can-eat buffets, sweets, fatty foods. Only this time, we ate with a sense of guilt. Eventually, we fell into a spiral of yo-yo dieting. We'd do really good for about a month or so, and then fall back to our old ways again, eventually gaining more weight than we had to begin with.



In college, things got worse for me. I lived right beside a 24-hour Whataburger. A typical day of eating might have included the following: no breakfast, but a very big lunch of two foot-long Subway sandwiches (usually I got the BMT, which is made of pepperoni, salami and ham), double meat and double cheese on both sandwiches. With that order, I would get two bags of chips and eat them as well. I ordered two sodas because I didn't want the employee checking me out to think all that food was for me. I wanted them to think I was ordering for a friend. Sometimes, I would even pretend I was on the phone while ordering for my "friend." Then, I'd take it all up to my dorm and eat by myself. Dinner might have been two burritos from Chipotle, again, the second one ordered for my "friend." And for a midnight snack, usually at 2 or 3 in the morning, I'd walk over to Whataburger and order the Triple Meat Cheeseburger and a large order of fries.

I never exercised. My waist size reached 56 inches.



It is with a certain amount of shame that I look back on how I used to be. My lifestyle. My eating habits. I put my body through such horrors, I can't even tell you. It makes me sad to think back to that time period. I think of all the opportunities I missed out on, and it makes me dizzy! But, it is never too late to change, to flip your world upside down and really rework and revamp your life.


People ask me sometimes how I did it. How did you lose all that weight? I really don't have any secret answer or magic formula. It was just something I did. I watched what I ate and I exercised regularly. Persistence was key. Some weeks I saw no progress. Some weeks I would backslide. But, you have to keep the big picture in mind at all times. If you fall down, get back up and keep going.

Before long, the pounds were melting off. I knew after I lost 50 pounds that I was on a roll. It was kind of scary, too. I was so afraid that I would yo-yo again, that something would happen and I would gain all the weight right back. It felt like a last chance kind of thing, that if it didn't work this time, then for sure I was a hopeless case!

Luckily, nothing like that happened. Instead, I learned to love exercise. Running became my thing. When I started, I couldn't run from here to there without gasping for breath. Over the summer, I would go walking at the high school elliptical track by my house. I would do eight laps. Two miles. Eventually, I tried to run some. It became a game. A challenge. Little by little I was running more and more. One day, I ran the entire lap without stopping. It was a tremendous accomplishment for me!

Losing 180 pounds was definitely one of the toughest things I've ever done. But, the rewards have been great. Aside from being healthier, I simply feel better.

Nonetheless, I think I still have some issues with eating that I have never quite worked out. I still feel guilty sometimes when I eat out. Sometimes I catch myself binge eating or doing some emotional eating. Sometimes I still see myself as fat. These are things I struggle with. They are serious problems and I need to address them. I will write a new post on these issues soon.

Losing Weight - Part 1

I used to be fat. The picture on the left, that was me. A year and a half ago, I was clinically obese. At 5'4, I weighed over 340 lbs. I wore 56" waist pants. It was a bad thing because diabetes runs in my family. My dad has it. My aunts have it.

The weird thing is I never saw myself as fat. I knew I wasn't skinny, but I never considered my situation a dire one, or even one deserving much thought or attention. Then my aunt died.

Her name was Maggie, my Aunt Maggie, and we were very close. I don't have a big family. It's just me, my parents, my sister Becky, my two aunts, and my cousin Isaac. That's it. My Aunt Maggie never got married or had kids. She struggled with obesity and diabetes for most of her life.

Then, her kidneys failed her. She had to go to dialysis. Twice a week, every week. I remember going to drop her off some mornings. She had to be at the clinic at 5 am sharp. She'd stay there for three hours or so while they "cleaned her blood." Six long and painful years. I remember the tears.

Aunt Maggie had been on the list for a kidney transplant. She carried around a beeper. It would buzz if the hospital received a matching donor. It could ring at any time, day or night, and she would have to be at the hospital within minutes: the donor kidney doesn't keep long. So she had to be prepared. She kept a bag ready in her closet, packed with clothes and toiletries. For six years, she waited. Then one night, she got the call! A mad scramble to the hospital. She got my dad to drive her - bless her heart. My dad is a beast behind the wheel.

We were all very excited. We waited patiently for news. How did the surgery go? Was she okay? Did the kidney take? We waited. And waited.

Aunt Maggie never came out of the hospital. Something had gone wrong. Her body rejected the organ. Things got complicated. Doctors came to see her. They poked her with needles. They ran tests. She wasn't allowed to leave

Days turned into weeks. Weeks turned into months. We went to see her every day. Some days were good. Most days were not. Little by little, her body was shutting down. Before long, the doctors were preparing us for the worse: there was nothing more they could do. Her situation was hopeless. She was going to die. They would give her medications to ease the pain.

That was a hard blow to my family. In her last days, her lips were blue. Her skin was pale. She couldn't recognize us. She couldn't even talk or move. My Aunt Mernie, her sister, went to her bedside. "Do you remember me," she asked. "Do you know who I am?" Nothing.

By this point, the doctors still had my aunt on life support. Chemicals were being pumped into her body on a daily basis just to keep her alive. One day, the doctors gave my family a choice. They could cease administration of all medications, all treatments, and allow her to live out her last few days without being poked and prodded. She wouldn't feel pain. She would die with some peace.

My family would hear nothing of it. The anger we all felt was overwhelming.

My Aunt Mernie sat at her sister's bedside, defeated, not knowing what to do. She looked at her sister. She tried to speak to her. Nothing. Aunt Maggie hadn't been out of it for weeks. They told us she wasn't even conscious of what was going on around her.

But then, she moved. Faintly. Slowly. Her eyes started to open. This startled my Aunt Mernie. "Are you okay, Maggie," she asked. "Do you know who I am?" My Aunt Maggie looked at her. She actually looked at her! Her lips moved. She wanted to speak. The words formed slowly... "It's... okay," she uttered. That was it. A faint smile came across her face and she closed her eyes.

My Aunt Mernie told the family what had happened. She told my grandfather, too. My grandfather, who has since passed away, was in his 90s when this happened. He was house-bound and confined to a wheelchair. A very religious man, her spent most of his days praying and meditating. My aunt explained the situation to him. For a long time, she had been trying to spare him the details. But, she couldn't anymore. "They want to stop medications. They want to let her pass." My grandfather wouldn't hear it. "I don't think she is here with us anymore, dad," my aunt told him. "I think her soul is with God." My grandfather said he wanted to see his daughter in the hospital.

We took him. He sat at her bedside. He held her hand. He prayed over her. When my Aunt took him back home, he told her, "I didn't want to believe you when you told me what you did. But, I can see you were right. She isn't here with us anymore. I believe she is with God right now."

We made the decision to cease treatments.

My aunt passed away on September 12, 2008. She was in the hospital for six months. Her favorite color was red. She loved Elvis Presley. We all miss her intensely. We still tell stories, stories about all the funny things she said and did. Stories of her kind and courageous nature. Her vibrant spirit.

She was a powerful person. A strong person. She was one of the reasons I decided to take control of my life and lose weight. Her strength and power emboldened me to make some big changes...